Show #19: River Grove Gazebo, River Grove

This was a blast. Mike Mika works for a local basement waterproofing company called Vulcan. They were planning to rent the R.G. Gazebo and have a party and he asked if we would play. This was about 3 months in advance and I agreed. He also offered to pay for the generator which we would need to power our shit. The day finally came. There was quite a turnout although like your typical party crowd, there were no fans of punk rock or anything remotely similar to what we are capable or interested in playing. So we jammed a lot and when I got the vibe before the show that there were some rap fans around, we decided to start out with an improvisational rap. We also called at the last minute George from Tribal Warfare. We had talked about jamming with him many times before but never did. We certainly needed no rehearsal and he freestyled for a long time. Eventually, one of the partygoers came up and grabbed a mic and started to flow. George passed me the mic and I started to bust ‘Don’t Believe the Hype’ by Public Enemy. This other guy knew the words and joined in. We were passing mics left and right and then I just started to rip the hell out of my guitar. It was great. We ate and drank for free and played for about 2 or 3 hours. Later in the day some younger kids showed up and we played a huge set of punk rock. The highlight was Rob’s bass drum pedals breaking. All that took was a little duct tape and they easily lasted the gig.

Show #18: Fireside Bowl, Chicago

We played this show with Alastair and This Side Up. As usual I was a bit nervous before the show and opted to take a walk during the other bands sets. But before any one played I had quite a run in with a member of (I believe) Alastair. First he saw my Jackson and thought it was very heavy metal or something. I was jamming on stage before the show and he asked me to play some ‘unnatural harmonics’. For non-guitarists, there are two kinds of harmonics: natural and artificial. Clearly, by unnatural he meant artificial, but I had never heard that before and he just didn’t know what the fuck he was talking about. He later offered to teach me how to bend the ends of my strings at the top of my neck into pentograms. I think that that actually would be pretty cool, although I do not believe that he actually knew how to do so and there was also very little slack to do it with. All in all, he tried his best to impress me. The icing on the cake was when he saw a sticker we had put on the ground. He told me that if the Fireside management saw that, we would be banned forever and if we were smart we should peel it off. I told him that I figured I could handle the situation myself and that he shouldn’t worry about it. I didn’t see his band but I’m sure that they sucked.

Show #16: Riverpalooza I

The first Riverpalooza. I had gotten into a terrible bar fight a few nights before and had two black eyes and miscellaneous cuts and scratches on my face which I’m sure added to the effect of our (my) performance. Mike Farmer came out and sang an Eternal Bliss song, “Running Man” with us at the end. No Style was pretty terrible then pulled one out of their asses — “The Girl in the Green Jacket” by Bigwig. It was awesome and I was impressed. It came totally out of nowhere. A total goofball band called Beggar’s Day played some terrible, terrible cockrock. They rented a limo for the ‘gig’ and tried to come off as rock stars although the majority of the fans were in high school (the members of the band were all easily into their 30’s). Many months later, they called us for a gig in far away Lansing which we readily accepted. It was later canceled because the guy who books the shows at Riley’s Rock House (where we had previously played an all ages show) ratted us out to the management that members of the band we under age. Never figured out why he did that exactly. I later heard that when Begger’s Day played the singer got very drunk and forgot the words and passed out or something really crazy. From those guys, I wouldn’t be surprised.

Like the first Kraft Bowl show, we set up the sound ourselves and it was average. The hall was nice and not too noisy and we rocked. Suba’s band Cyribiss (then Hellion) rocked and their version of Slayer’s ‘Black Magic” was unforgettable.

Show #17: Guitar Center, Chicago

After the first fuck up of this show, we exchanged information with Jose and we finally pulled off a show by ourselves. We played in the Pro Audio room during business hours and people were free to come in and watch for free. Jose was even nice enough to let us pick out amps — I chose a Yamaha head and a green 70’s Fender 4×12 cabinet. Very noisy. We played at least 1 10 minute improvisational jam and just made lots of noise. At the end of the show I took off my sunglasses which I had worn and had had for about 4 years and forgot them. On the way home I realized this and called Rob who was still there with Hilger and they were gone — stolen by a Guitar Center worker. I am still pissed about that one although it was my own stupidity and irresponsibility.

Show #15: Fireside Bowl, Chicago

This show was with the Circus — a band we had played with before. In short, they had insulted us and also started a fight they couldn’t finish with a wild metal band due to their frontman’s antics. I was ready to confront them and fight if need be. As we waited outside for the doors to be unlocked, their singer saw a sticker that had been freshly put up about 1 minute ago by Hilger. He commented to one of his band members, not knowing that we were the band, “Low Profile…wait a minute…I remember this band”. Then he turned to us and I said that that was us. He seemed shocked and said nothing else. During their set he wore the same crazy outfit and sweated up a storm. Musically, I cannot deny that they were tight, original and overall professional. I had no respect for their singer because of his past bullshit and his ‘shocking’ antics which did not fly with me. He punched himself a few times and I stood in the near empty club right in front of the stage egging him on for more self-destruction and other taunts. He ignored me of course and tried to impress and bunch of girls who had come to see us and eventually jumped into the ‘crowd’ (what little there was) and landed on them. The rest of the set of uneventful.

During our set, we played ‘All Hell Breaks Loose’ last by the Misfits especially for him. Hilger commented live that we love the Misfits and we will play them every fucking time whether anyone likes it or not. Not suprisingly, they were not up to the challenge and stood quietly in the back then left.

The other bands were mixed. Farm Team was a local band who played absolute noise and I really dug them. The Aldermen were 1950’s or something and the guitarist even pulled up outside on a huge chopper. He had plenty of tattoos and a greased handlebar mustache and hair.

Show #14: Guitar Center [CANCELED], Chicago/River Grove

This was a very eventful day. We had set up this free show in advance through a guy named Matt who is actually the founding member of Low Profile and also the guitarist of Eternal Bliss. He had started another band at the time which was called Union Jack. They had Dave on bass (also from Eternal Bliss) and the drummer from Yellow Snowman (since replaced), Randy. He asked me about 2 months in advance to play this show and I readily agreed. I checked back with him multiple times and again about 2 days before the show and he assured me that everything was AOK. We were also supposed to play with a band called No Style who was actually Rob’s original band. We got down there and were sitting outside with No Style. I volunteered to go inside and find out what was happening. I told the first person I saw inside about my situation and he asked me to wait while he got Jose, the manager, to help me. I waited about 5 minutes and decided that that was long enough. I boldly walked into the door marked ‘Employees Only’. I wandered around for a bit and found ‘Jose’ and 2 others in a small office. I had never met Jose before but I had a feeling that this was him. Jose was trying to explain and one of the others started freaking out and kept repeating that I could not (should not really; I was already there) be in this office. I ignored him and addressed Jose but he would not stop and then grabbed me by the arm and attempted to escort me outside. At this point I realized that the show was not going to take place but I was also trying to deal with the idiot grabbing me. I shoved him and told him not to touch me. He kept complaining and I simply told him to shut up. At this point, Jose said that maybe we had better talk someplace else. I agreed and when outside the office he explained that he had tried to call his only contact — Randy — and tell him that the show had been canceled. He never got through to him. I was pretty infuriated. I went outside and explained and Rob volunteered to have the show in his basement where we rehearse. A lot of people were beginning to show up and it would have been a major disappointment for them and us if the show could not go on. We also asked No Style if they would like to play and they agreed.

We went back to Rob’s and cleaned the place out. The whole basement was filled. We tried to go back and forth song for song with No Style but they weren’t very tight and eventually we ended up just playing by ourselves. This is one of the first shows I can remember where I really went for broke. I got wild and scared the crowd as we whipped through a lot of covers — Gorilla Biscuits, ‘Hope’ by Descendants/Sublime and ‘Nike a-Go-Go’ by the Misfits during which I broke a string and got very crazy. I insulted the crowd very often and rapped ‘Knocking Boots’ by the Candyman and the crowd dug it. Right before we started, Union Jack and their crew showed up. I don’t remember if Matt asked to play or not, but I told him that he had better leave. He did so promptly, and the show went on.

Show #13: Riley’s Rock House, Aurora

We had jammed with Mike Farmer live many times to do Misfits encores and they were very popular with the crowd. We decided to actually rehearse and play a full set with him as a cover band. We did so at a place very far away in Aurora. It was a Battle of the Bands and there were about 10 bands so it was a very long show. To save time, they told us not to bring equipment. When we got there it was a little different though. They had told Rob not to bring drums, only cymbals. But he didn’t bring a high hat. No problem, someone was nice enough to borrow him one. Me and Hilger brought guitars only. But I guess that we were supposed to bring amp heads. Well, we play combo amps so we don’t have heads. The management was pissed but they found us something to use. It worked out nice since Hilger played out of like a 400 watt 8×8 cabinet and I had a nice Peavey 5150 half stack. I played my strat as my main guitar which I rarely do and I put 11’s on and it nearly broke my fucking arm. We planned to open with ‘Return of the Fly’ and we were going to start it and Farmer would walk out and sing in the nick of time. So we were in this little dressing room right before we were going to go on. Even now I still get a little nervous before the shows but Farmer hadn’t played in a while and he’ll probably deny this. We were putting black circles around our eyes with a lipstick and he was shaking like crazy. I offered to do it for him and he refused. The shit head sound guys refused to give us 2 backup vocal mics so we did with one but they put it on Hilger’s side. My cord was barely long enough for me to reach and it was stretched across the stage like a trip wire which Hilger had to jump over. On a similar note, did his usual jump into the floor and his cord was pulled so tight it almost pulled the amp over. Luckily, everything was all right. I remember being very depressed at this show after it was over and sitting outside during the other bands. Well I was later told that I missed the fun.

The other bands: Sans Everything was sans drums and they played 3 piece with a frontman and a drum machine and they almost won the damn show although they sucked. (which was based on crown applause at the end of the show — 4 hours after we had played and everyone of our fans had went home). The last band was called Quixotic like Don Quixote and they were total noise core and I’ll give them a prop although they were musically inept at their instruments. The only band who was cool personally was called Grady and they was all much older then use (around 29 or so) and had two guitars. Their frontman was cool and at one point he pulled out a mini tape player and put it to the mic and played to kind of a little girls voice talking and it was very sick and scary. Bonesaw opened with Tool’s ‘Sober’ and later played ‘Four Horseman’ by Metallica. They were heavy and pissed off. The band after us was called the Circus and I was outside when they played. Some shit went down I was later told.

The Circus plays blues rock and its very high energy. They are all right (coincidentally we later played with them at the Fireside and I’m still trying to figure out how they got a gig there). Their frontman was wearing cowboy boots, a T-shirt, flannel and fur lined jean jacket. On the hot stage this is insane and he sweat everywhere. He later told Rob that his inspiration is Iggy Pop and he would throw himself on the stage and get real crazy. He threw a chair and it almost hit one of the crazy headbangers in Bonesaw. It’s pretty much of a bad idea to fuck with these guys. They start yelling and in the end, security threw The Circus out which was about the only good decision they made all night. Also, I think that Bonesaw one the competition (which had a $100 prize). The Circus also made some stupid comments about us playing only covers and how we sucked but I definitely set the record straight at the Fireside (See that show for details).

Show #10: Kraft Bowl, Chicago

At this show a lot of people showed up and we got paid a lot — $71. I’m sure it was supposed to be $70 but was miscounted by Washburn who put on the show. I remember him holding a huge stack of bills and just peeling off so many that I couldn’t believe it. When he paid me I thanked him then we hugged which was weird. I was very grateful to him for putting on the show and it was just very successful overall.

Instead of doing a half assed job on the sound, we paid a bit more and got a great sound man named Bo. He made it sound great and set up and tore down VERY fast. The PA speakers were not very steady and were stacked up. Once of twice, they were wobbling and he warned us through his talkback mic to be careful. I admonished the crowd to do so and they didn’t listen. During “Problem Solved” the whole fucking thing fell over which could damage the speaker and also the person or persons beneath it. Luckily neither happened and Farmer caught the speakers and it didn’t happen again.

Tony Perry got a huge bass stack for this show and Joe got a crazy Dean Flying-V. They sure did have some great shit except for one thing — Joe had no guitar amp. Now don’t ask me why you would go to a show and not even bring an amp because I don’t know. Fact of the matter is that Joe technically did not (and probably still does not) have a guitar amp. So he asked to use mine. I had borrowed a bad ass Valvestate Marshall half stack from a good friend of mine named Andy and I was really trying to protect the thing. I told him that it wasn’t mine to lend out, much less that Andy might come to the show and if he saw that I let him use it, he would probably be pissed. He said that he would talk to him or pay him or something but I said fuck it and just let him use it. Its this type of unprofessionalism that made Pie in the Sky never live up to their potential and eventually stop playing gigs. Later on Half Stachon played for which Joe plays bass. Of course, he did not have a bass so he asked Hilger for his. We were both real pissed at this point but he gave it to him anyways. They could barely even finish a song. Mike came out and sang Misfits with us and the crowd went wild. He had on the full Danzig garb and eye makeup. Awesome as usual.

Show #12: Party at Gimson’s

I really can’t say much about this one to prevent anyone from being incarcerated. I was very intoxicated and we played in the garage and it rocked. They seemed to like the fast shit although I knew that they were all total rock and rollers. Their dad came out and I played a little bit of ‘Night Moves’ by Bob Seger for him and they all loved it. I played some of ‘Stairway to Heaven’ and ‘Wish you Were Here’. But we mainly just jammed instrumental and improvised. It was fun and the keg never seemed to get dry. I was a wild night.

Show #11: Party at Suba’s, River Grove

Tony Suba’s basement has a very low ceiling and tile floors so it is extremely reverberant and will blow your eardrums everytime. This was a surprise party for his girlfriend, Debbie. We waited in the dark and everything and flipped on the lights and jammed. I remember that we opened with ‘Outspoken’. The funny thing about Debbie and her friends is that we’re playing this loud long and I’m yelling and shit and they act like its totally normal and a pop song or something. They genuinely like us or at least they have me tricked.

The best was when at one point Rob glanced a stick off his nose. He started bleeding and then blood was everywhere. He kept playing and I didn’t know about the bleeding since I’m singing and my back is to him. We finish one song and I talked for a moment and then I introduced the next one and tried to start it. Rob yells for me to wait to I talk a little more. I still haven’t turned around and seen the blood bath which Rob is attempting to control. He was also drinking and it must have thinned his blood. I go to start again and he yells for me to stop. I got a little pissed at this stalling and I turn around and there’s blood everywhere: on his face and clothes, drums, sticks. We finished the set and he drank some more and got really goofy and lightheaded probably due to the blood loss. I took him home and he said that his folks thought he got into a fight or something and he was totally loopy and tried to take a leak in the closet or something when his mom stopped him.

I met Joe from Cyribiss that night and we traded the guitar back and forth all night and played Metallica and Slayer riffs. At one point he played some Manowar which is obscure but the riff was crazy. It was fucking great. It takes a special person who is like myself and enjoys jamming so much. Hilger said this about him and I totally agree. When we met him, he’s wearing red contacts and looks like Kirk Hammett from Metallica who he clearly idolizes. I showed him my Jackson and I showed him my Strat. I asked his if he wanted to play it and I handed him the guitar and he immediately goes to like the 23rd fret and rips this insane metal solo. Fucking awesome. At one point later that night when we were trading the guitar back and forth, the guy who lives upstairs was with us partying and he’s watching us jam and he says to turn it up. We had the amp set real low cause it was late. Then he demands that we turn it up and how he owns the house which is true. So we cranked it!